This may surprise you, but AP behavior is common. Open aggression in interpersonal relationships is now considered a shame and the law hides it, while male aggression is increasingly kept secret. As women demanded more of her power, some men around her began to feel uneasy about changing roles. Although they are some women who behave this way, it is more common among men who use it to protect themselves from aspects of the relationship that they cannot deal with. In general terms, this response will greatly affect family and work life.
We take a look at the origins of her misfortune to see if the behavior of the AP has caused her difficulties that she may not have anticipated or managed well.
You are in love, you seem to have a partner, there is someone to share wonderful moments with when you start to realize that your partner is always upset and makes you responsible for all changes. When something happens, both parties examine what happened and have no conversation to learn from, they are responsible for each other’s behavior. No, you have a session where you get angry and feel guilty, no matter how stupid you are, unable to please him, you may end up feeling miserable or worse.
If you are dealing with passive aggressors without knowing what is happening, it can be crazy. You feel fired, turned off, ignored, but don’t know how to subtly activate and react. Your judging brain slowly weakens and constantly weakens due to this negative negative environment. It can be accommodating, pleasant and patient, but the situation does not improve; At some point you explode. Over time, this can develop into a vicious circle: aggressive passive behavior spreads anger and finger pointing, leading to more passive-aggressive behavior. Yelling, knocking on doors and appearing out of control are not part of his behavior before.
Ask yourself these questions:
Does your partner get mad at you for things you can’t control? Blame you for what happened to him / her who did not attend?
* Does your spouse often feel miserable, depressed, and angry about small living conditions, but ignore big problems and never face them?
* Do you receive complaints that this person does more than ever to please you or do you not appreciate them properly?
* Do you express a deep idea of being cursed in life, abandoned by others responsible for all your problems? Does she have any responsibility for what happens to her?
* Does your partner describe a world of your own making, subject to nothing you can say to change it? If you present a different and more positive structure to your friends, family and common acquaintances, do you reject yourself as “made-up” because it is the only “truth” that this person sees?
Okay, now, be brave: Does the person you are dealing with display at least three of the above behaviors? If the answer is yes, it is often an indifferent-aggressive person who has not learned to be in a similar and mature relationship, and who is recreating in this alleged new “more mature” relationship the unresolved personal pains of childhood.
If all of this then translates into some form of abusive behavior, you can at least better understand what is happening and regain your integrity and self-esteem.
Three shortcuts for immediate application:
1.- The main problem with aggressive passive behaviors is how to first identify these interactions. This is because the only mind that (yours) must be observed and evaluated is confused by mixed logical / emotionally contradictory messages.
We must accept confusion and emotional pain as indicators of a relationship with a passive aggressive person (AP). Isn’t it that you are a less intelligent person? That someone else is confusing you!
2. A person displaying AP traits is a person who has never learned to accept and control their anger, using their distorted behavior to impose their responsibility on others (“you made him angry”) so that others can do everything imaginary real or manic. You blame them. Deep down, they are emotionally unattainable and won’t allow anyone to get too close emotionally, so displaying AP traits can help you avoid the intensity of emotions and regain protection from your inner isolation by moving away from emotional intimacy. You don’t feel rejected on a personal level.
3.- It has nothing to do with you! You don’t have to be a beauty queen, a very successful manager, or a sex bomb to please him – it has nothing to do with what you can offer him. Whatever it is, she often responds to her own image of what a close partner means to her, not who you are. Knowing what’s going on (you are drawn to an ordinary person in your romance) should at least give you this fact: His reaction has nothing to do with you, because he will respond in the same way to anyone who threatens him. To enter your personal world. His fear is not for you, but for an intimate relationship and emotional commitment to any woman.
By understanding the three shortcuts, you can regain control of the interaction, and have more power to know where you are when conflicts arise and to decide what’s next in your life.